This article was originally written as a demo for a job application. The name of the protagonist has been changed, and the name of the diagnostic company redacted.
It started with a meme.
Scrolling Instagram one evening, Jessie (39) saw a reel that stood out as a funny representation of her relationship with her husband: a man stands in a kitchen, “Autism” written above his head. His partner runs in with a watermelon — “ADHD” above hers. She bounces excitedly, asking him to cut it open. The husband pauses, pulls out a knife and sharpener, and slowly, methodically, starts sharpening the blade. After bouncing more and more eagerly, his partner swiftly smashes the watermelon open on the countertop and gorges on the fruit.
While this initially struck both Jessie and her husband as a relatable gag, it also opened a door: were they both neurodivergent?
Am I ADHD? #
Neurodivergence — which encompasses ADHD, Autism, and more — recognises that human cognitive styles exist across a broad, diverse spectrum, not all of which are aligned with the ways society assumes, rewards, and designs around. This misalignment can affect mental and physical health, social relationships, and employment.
The concept has become something of a trend on social media, so both Jessie and her husband were naturally wary of immediately identifying with it. But as time passed, it continued to resonate.
One night, her husband came to her with a list of the DSM-V criteria for ADHD. “When my husband read out the clinical criteria for ADHD, he gave me a long, knowing look after each one. We both laughed because it really did sound like a checklist description of me. It was then that I realised, ‘ok, this is definitely worth looking into.’”
Jessie and her husband have since gone on their own neuro-journeys. Her husband, already diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager, came to recognise he is additionally Autistic (known as AuDHD). Jessie, meanwhile, used the NHS ‘Right To Choose’ pathway to get assessed and diagnosed by [ADHD CARE PROVIDER].
This is Jessie’s story.
Pre-Diagnosis #
Jessie’s experience mirrored that of many adults diagnosed later in life: she often felt out of place, experienced recurring imposter syndrome, and went through periods of depression.
“Before my diagnosis I was often down on myself, a little overwhelmed, and hiding a bit of shame. While I’ve appeared to hit the standard markers of success in life, I would look at what others achieved — not just the big headline achievements, but the amount of additional activities they managed to fit in — and I often felt like there was something I was fundamentally missing in terms of how to navigate life.”
As Jessie’s career advanced and she became a parent, things started to mount up. “After I had my first, and then second, child, it really felt like things were becoming unbearably overwhelming — for both me and my husband. He often jokes that he ‘didn’t realise he had coping mechanisms until his children took them away,’ and I started to feel the same way.”
The feelings came to a head when she started a new remote job. After meeting her team in person for the first time, she lay awake in her hotel room all night. “They were smarter, more experienced, spoke more languages, and I felt like there was no way I could ever live up to their achievements.”
Eventually she found her feet at work — but her imposter syndrome and feeling of ‘otherness’ remained. “During stressful times I would externalise my negative feelings onto those situations. But when I finally got to a smooth period, I realised I still didn’t feel right: I was exhausted and couldn’t motivate myself to do even things I usually enjoyed. It was around this time that my husband showed me the clinical criteria for ADHD.”
From Self-Assessment to Official Diagnosis #
Jessie took an ADHD Screener test, and the results suggested she may indeed have ADHD. More and more things began to add up: her son was showing signs at school, both her brothers had been diagnosed (and found medication incredibly beneficial), and many of her closest friends — including some from childhood — had ADHD or Autism.
“I eventually decided to get a formal assessment. If I did have ADHD, it would be affecting not just me, but my family and friends too. By getting a diagnosis, I’d have a language and toolkit to better understand myself — and I could access medication that I’ve heard can be transformative.”
After learning about the NHS ‘Right To Choose’ pathway — which allows patients in England to choose their own accredited diagnostic provider — Jessie booked an appointment with her GP. Armed with background information and her ASRS Screener results, she made her case. Her GP agreed she would benefit from a referral.
“[ADHD CARE PROVIDER] stood out because they looked credible, had useful resources and a clear diagnostic pathway on their website, were well-reviewed, and offered short waiting times for video-based remote assessments.” They also offered medication titration with a ‘shared care’ option, meaning Jessie could transfer management to her GP after the initial process.
The Steps to an Online ADHD Assessment #
A few weeks after her GP submitted the referral, [ADHD CARE PROVIDER] provided Jessie with access to an online portal containing everything she needed — including a video of a real assessment, so she knew what to expect.
“The first thing was to fill in forms outlining my personal history. It took me around two months — not because they were arduous, but because I needed outside help. I had to speak to someone who knew me as a child, get my healthcare summary, and take my blood pressure at a medical centre. I know these aren’t big tasks, but they were enough of a barrier to make me deprioritise it.”
Once she finally submitted, the process moved quickly. “I received an email to book an appointment within a day — and it was scheduled for that same week! I felt silly for taking so long, but I was grateful for the progress.”
The assessment itself was a one-hour recorded video call. “In a classic ADHD move, I forgot I needed to show ID on the day — but the Mental Health Practitioner was friendly and patient. It felt more like an open, fun chat than a clinical discussion.” At the end, when Jessie asked when she’d get her result, the practitioner chuckled: “Yeah, you pretty clearly meet the criteria for ADHD.”
A few days later, [ADHD CARE PROVIDER] sent a detailed report: Jessie had Inattentive type ADHD.
“There were a lot of different feelings as I processed my diagnosis, but the biggest was relief. I could put a name to my dysfunctions, and I knew things were going to get better.”
The Power of Knowing #
“I now have a lot more compassion for myself. One of my lifelong traits is zoning out when people are talking to me. Since my diagnosis, my husband and friends have been much more understanding — and I can better recognise when it’s happening and try to stay focused.”
At work, Jessie has started leaning into AI note-taking tools to support her memory, and her manager has already noted improvements. She’s also decided to try ADHD medication, looking forward to the next steps after seeing how well it’s worked for family and friends.
“Pre-diagnosis, I would wonder why I couldn’t achieve at a higher level. Now I’m more likely to feel good that I’ve done as well as I have. When you start to feel good, you naturally start to do better.”